we didn't speak for a month

i still miss you

im not sure if still is the right word

or miss really

seeing as you sit across from me

and i see you every

mondaytuesdaywednesdaythursdayfridqy

of the week

well now its more like

monday thursday tuesday friday

but still my heart cramps

when i see your face

i cant escape the feeling that

i could have made you happy and

i could only really laugh around you

in school at least;

you were my safe space

a place to escape the unfamiliarity

of the people who see through me everyday

i thought you understood me-us-you/r

actions showed me otherwise

always less than, always a night time suprise

never first in your eyes

never as special as you were to me

everytime i see

you i wish only the best & peace & happiness.

even though my chest cries screams

of betrayal, of hurt of

i thought you were better than that even though my friends told me otherwise but your eyes told me better lies, your arms told me better lies your laugh was the best lie

and yet

there's forever someone else

history repeats although 2 years made up of a friendship and a half is hardly a history to stand by

i would've stood by you, but you left me on standby so i suppose the best thing to do would be to say

goodbye

again

again

again

i wish the thought of you would leave me again

its like we missed each other by a minute again

or by 1 month and a lifetime

(but i thought of you everyday)