Reflection

The lady on my podcast is teaching me how to Live Correctly

Honestly, it is exhausting

and sometimes (like this time)

it doesn't feel worth it

because the heavy dread in my stomach still stands

heavy, present existing

and I can't help but wonder why

and I tried

not focusing on it

but it persists and its

hard to ignore a part of yourself isn' it?

so I attempted acceptance and somehow it remained

just as rejected as when i first started

i know how to open a world of pain

and shame

and everything i tried to forget.

its simply really, all I need to do is open my journal

or any of my poetry

and suddenly I'm pulled into a whirlwind

of experience marked not by

inconsequential memory - for memory can be temporary -

but rather the feelings frozen

that my heart pulled from deep within

and scribbled onto a page

I'm not phased, maybe its because its July

what with the, seasons passing by

and my lifepassingby

time passes by and I don't even realise

that I can summon sadness like

an unwanted trick

teetering on the edge of Is this a lie,

validate yourself

feel your feelings

and its feels like a dream and

just breathe

in

and

out

i

n

and

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